Friday, February 29, 2008

Libut


Libut (Travel)

YUBS: You sure you don't wanna ride? Just hold on to my waist and we'll travel the world over.

CLACLA: Nuh-uh.

Deyt


Deyt (Date)

CLACLA: D'ya know I've been waiting here for five hours already?

YUBS: But you didn't leave. That's because you love me so.

Atlung Bábai

Three Women. A poem about three women with varying relationships with men. Norma leads the typical housewife life. Magda's survival and economic progress are rooted on offering her sexual service to men. Felicia, the wealthy and powerful one, uses the wealth she has acquired to preserve her superiority over her male servants and escape being chained to a man by adopting a child, i.e., "procreation" using wealth alone.

Keti king balen atin kung kilalang bábai
Atlu la dapot ali la para-para klasi
Ding piulian da rening atlu mikakawani
Miyayaliwa ing ugne ra karing lálaki

Here in this town I know women / three women, but they belong to different types / They come home separately / they relate to men differently

Ing mumunang babai ing kayang lagyu Norma
Kanita linuban ning lalaki ing bale na
Kayi kaibat ning siam a bulan kabirabira
Anak ing akit mung mamialung king kayang mula

The first woman is called Norma / whose house was penetrated by a man in the past / after nine months suddenly / one would see kids playing in her garden

Kadua naman Magda ing kekatamung iyaus
Dakal lang lalaki ring king bale na tataglus
At bista man e la maluat mágdatun ding diablus
Máging yang mabandi ing makisusung matilus

The second one is to be called Magda / who lives in a house where many men proceed / and even though the devils don't stay long / the pointy-breasted lady becomes wealthy by the minute

Tauli karening bábai Felicia ya lagyu
Ding kasabi na mung lálaki ring ortelanu
Nung ali no man tuburan dinan no mung sueldu
Ding ának a mámialung kilual inampun no mu

Let me introduce to you Anita Sibal / bathing often and a really hygienic person / exercising every morning, following a balanced diet / changing shirt after perspiring a bit

Deti ring ámanuan kung atlung klasing bábai
Makiyantak ngan oneng miyayaliwa bili
E la miyayalas pangaratang king lálaki
O Kababainan, kenu biye ing kapad mung dili

These are the women I said belonged to three types / they had vaginas but they vary in condition / they are not homogeneous when it comes to men / O, womankind, whose life do you want to take on

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Kanyan-kanyan


Kanyan-kanyan (Being Like That)

YUBS: Our dog kept on barking at me like hell, then I come here only to endure you being like that.

CLACLA: Pardon me?

Kunyari


Kunyari (Pretend)

CLACLA: Don't flatter yourself too much. I only pretend to be afraid of you.

KARAG: Ribit, ribit?

Pagaga


Pagaga (Crybaby)

YUBS: Do carabaos cry as well when feeling bad?

DAMULAG: Ngaaaa.

YUBS: I wish I were born a carabao.

Malagu


Malagu (Pretty)

YUBS: Have I ever told you before how pretty you are when you cut yourself?

CLACLA: Yes, a lot of times already! I'm even getting tired of it!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

30 Minutu


30 Minutu (30 Minutes)

YUBS: I'll stay like this until you forgive me. I'll wait for all my blood to come to my head until I perish.

CLACLA: Give me thirty minutes to think things through.

YUBS: Please make it fifteen minutes?

Magkukulam


Magkukulam (Witch)

YUBS: Suppose a witch came and turned me into a frog, would you still love me?

CLACLA: I don't know. I just really can't stand frogs.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Layas


Layas (Stow Away)

CLACLA: Go forth, O Carabao! Take me away from all the insanity of the mortal realm!

DAMULAG: Ngaaaa?

Sandalan


Sandalan (Someone To Lean On)

CLACLA: Yubs! Here comes the bullfrog again!

YUBS: You know me only when you see bullfrogs.

KARAG: Ribit.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Kutang


Kutang (Question)

YUBS: In your opinion, does Clacla love me?

KARAG: Ribit.

YUBS: Tell me the truth.

Sigiripit


Sigiripit

YUBS: (a stale children's joke) There were two birds. One is Sigiripit, the other's Sigarapat. Sigarapat was shot. Who's the only bird left?

CLACLA: I am not happy in this relationship.

Saksi


Saksi (Witness)

CLACLA: Yubs, please shoo this bullfrog away! I hate frogs.

YUBS: Let it stand as witness to this romance we have for each other!

KARAG: Ribit.

Dibpan Ning Alti


Dibpan Ning Alti (Lightning Stricken)

YUBS: Is it true that there is a high chance of being struck by lightning when standing close to carabaos?

DAMULAG: Ngaaaa...

YUBS: Mind if I hang out with you here?

Kebaitan


Kebaitan (Birthday)

YUBS: You forgot my birthday was yesterday?

CLACLA: No, I just didn't greet you.

Nekstaym


Nekstaym (Next Time)

CLACLA: The moment we fight and I go running away, you should chase after me.

YUBS: Okay. Next time.

MP3 Player Ku

My MP3 Player. A poem on self-determination amidst the tsunamis of imperialism.

Karing sablang tau atin kung ikuentu
Iti tungkul ya king MP3 player ku
A seliwan ku alagang atlung libu
Nung bakit, oyni at sabian ku kekayu

Siping ning bale mi ating pápatigtig
Kanta la pung i Thalia ing daralit
Kayi pákasikan no pamo ning buysit
Ing Mexicanung lawiwi e ku ilig

Mákiyangkas ku kang Bapa king saken na
Patye mame ya San Fernandu king obra
Ding pákiramdaman na kantang pangmatua
Lalangi ku utak, e ko kapad deta

Potang sake kung bus papunta Menila
E ku abata’ing “Ispageting Pababa”
Nung puedi mu sana, “Radyo, pakihina!”
Oneng mákarine naman karing al’wa

Siping nang bale ning boarding house ku karin
Kanu no mang rapper ding karelang batuin
Kakalabug ya ing gabun, banua pa pin
King sigla ning component ning anak pating

Bang mikabus ku rugu king pangariking
Karening mámandi king timawang angin
Menipun ku mong pera, perang panyaling
MP3 player at earphones a masanting

A loku, ali ra na ku adiktan pa
Ring pápatigtig masikan a musika
At nung ali ku man kapad ing karela
‘Lage ing player ku’t ala nang problema

Iti ing kuentu ning MP3 player ku
Pisalangian ding dalit a kakung lub
Iya ing migsalba karing balugbug ku
Kang Thalia, king Kanu, at otsu-otsu

Friday, February 22, 2008

Mau Ya I Mappi

Mappi's Thirsty. A poem about viewing things as part of a process versus viewing things as static objects that don't undergo change. If we are to view each predicament as a part of a certain process, then we would be able to act based on what is needed to help in the completion of the process.

Mebilad patingapun ‘nya mau ya i Mappi
Mengaring Sahara ing akmulan na king langi
Kayumanggi nang balat migkule neng suklati
Susun-susun ing kayang panimanman king páli

Linibut ne ing balen bang manakit ayinum
Ambuski king gintu e na ‘paglibe ing danum
Karas king iskuela kaban atin yang apantun
Oneng yelu ing laman na, e man dugu danum

Mine ya munisipyu’t mengutang karing tau
Nung ninu ing makapagdaun saup king mau
Ing pekapun a opisyal iya’ng karelang tildu
Dapot yelu mu naman ing abiye ning taksiapu

King pisamban melili ya ing malangi batal
Ing buntuk nang mapáli, ay Dios ku, mákakintal
Ikit ne ing pari’t kaya pinulandit samal
O’t yelu mu rin ing yayampang na ning patakal

Istasyun ning radyu ing tutuki nang pintalan
Mebrodkast ing saingsing nang iya sana asopan
De ring sablang kabalen nang kaya mákáramdam
‘Tin peralang kahun ‘neng yelu mu rin ing laman

Kinatuk ya i Mappi karing siping nang bale
King pagal at maung bili kas’wala neng mete
Ding anggang anyaranan danum, nu ya man ume
“Nanan ku rugu ing yelu?” ing gagkas nang pane

Manibat pang nandin abak mau ne i Mappi
Merunut pang-asa inya karela minuli
Kapunta kusina ikit ne ing kayang Atsi
Ayba! Miminum yang danum ing dibpan ning alti

Kitnan neng Mappi nung nu na ibat ing ínuman
“Iskuela, munisipyu, ampo na king pisamban
Balen at karing taung king radyu mákiramdam”
Ngana ning babaing mataluras na akmulan

“Inayan ku la’ rin oneng yelu ing babiye ra”
I Mapping mákalunus ita ing kayang istorya
“Yelu mu rin, wali ku, ing kaku inabut da
‘Nya pangatuno ring yelu kakung penenaya

Akalinguan mung king danum gawa ing yelu?”
Kutang nang Atsi nang Mapping nandin pa mipasno
“Nung tinipun mo ring yelu’t kekang pepalaso
Mekayinum ka sa’t mekapainawa, ali mo?”

Friday, February 8, 2008

Bayu Melasak

Ing tagimpan ku kanita, maging ikata.

Asna kang ka-cute. Asna kang kaganaka. Asna kang kasikan lub mangabit matuling a lipstick potang lulub ka UP. Atin pánga-punk ing kekang fashion sense. E na mákapakirut kasi bokalista na ka ning metung a bánda. Oneng kalupa na pin ning amanuan mu king Friendster, trip mu mu ing makanitang imalan; e ka maniwalang ita ing pipamantayan ning pamaging rakista. Tsk. Inya naman crush da ka e.

Inyang king ku pang UP Pampanga, atin tamung reporting king Com 2 kanita. Asna kung katamad panigaralan ing report ta inyang aldo bayu ing pamag-report. Kayi bigla kang mig-text. Pápasaup ka king aldong tutuki para king kekang report uling e ka mipaindatun isip uli ning pate yu ning tau mu.

Inya menigaral ku.

King aldong katuki nita, sinulud ke ing bayu kung asul a baru. Kalub ku library, sabi mu cute ya ing imalan ku. E ku na mu asabi, cute ka mu naman kanita.

Corny ku, ne?

Metung naman a bengi king Quezon City, Third Exam ku king tutuking aldo kanita king PolSci 14 inya pákakalat la ngan ding readings at lecture ku king lamesa king sála ning boarding house, kawalu ning bengi. Pákasadya na ing kape king lele kasi pilmi kung maging na ku na naman Master Showman king benging ita (“Walang tulugan!”). Kayi mig-text na ka’ kabud. Syempre mekibat na ku man. Kaibat, migbabad ta na king pamag-text! Makatula la ring kekatang sasabian king balang metung. Dakal ku abalu tungkul king biye mu – king masikan mung ilig king pamanigtig, king protesta nang ibpa mu king ilig mu, at aliwa pa. Pati itang lihim a kasulatan a kinudta ku kanita tungkul keka, apisabian ta mu rin. Ing masanting keta, cool ka mu tungkul keta.

“E ku na mu asabi kekang apaninapan ku mu rin ing mitáu kata kasi pota mag-freak out ka,” ngaku pa.

“Ali naman. Astig pin e.”

Inya naman e ku rugu mekapanigaral manggang 11 nin bengi. Ambuski manga 20 minutu kata mung “mísabi,” metung a oras kaibat na nita, ditak na mu mamaglundag ku king ligayang dela ning simpling pamipangamanung ita. Sigi na pin – wa, memaglundag ku talaga.

Corny, ne?

Sembreak inyang mílabas a banua, tatali ke pa ing buak ku king gulut. Mig-get together tamung mikakaluguran UP Pampanga king Fontana, overnight. Aku, ika, ing tau mu, at aliwa pang kaluguran. Wa, ati yu ing tau mu. Iya ing menakit ketang lihim a kasulatan kinudta ku dikil keka, dikil kekata. Syempre e ku mipaindatun. Kayi uling mamulang ku, e da ka mo pinansin mabilug a bengi. Inyang minuna kung abalitan a kinalat ya itang sulat kung ita, medyu mig-panic ku. Oneng keluatan, ayisip ku, bakit ku tumakut karing sarili kung amanu? Tutu la ngan deta.

Atin oras a ikata mung adua king sála: aku, mánalbe kung Starstruck Season 2 at pánenayan ke ing pamaglage nang Chris Martin bang págsisti, kabang ika, atin ka yatang babasan o mánalbe ka. Pakisabian da ka sana, oneng praning ku king tau mu.

Pulus tamung alang agawa inyang linalam pa ing bengi, inya naman memialung tamung Spin-the-Bottle. Red Horse Bottle. Truth or truth, alang consequence. Apiyikit-ikit ku nang makulkul ya ing personal kung biye (a masalese kung sasalikut karing tau), pero salamat king Red Horse, sinikan-sikan ing lub ta. Mumunang inum ku pala ita king ganap kung biye.

Mumuna da mu rin ikit ding tau ing metung kung dakeng e da sukat isipan atin ku.

Inyang tinuldu ya kaku ing boti, ala lang akutang kanakung juicy. Boring ya kasing lálon ing biye ku kasi ala kung kukuentu karing tau. Dakal karela, pulus lang alang balu. Inya mig-volunteer kang ika na mu ing mangutang. A, balu ku na ing ikutang mu, ngaku king isip ku.

“O’t asulat mu ita?”

“Kasi ita ing pánamdaman ku kanita,” mabilis pa king alas singku kung pekibat kabang e man makalawe keka. Págumasdan ke mu itang boti ning Red Horse a bagya-bagya ku nang abuburi. Lasa ampong epektu. Alang arti keng pekibatan ing kutang mu agyang kasiping me ing tau mu.

Makatula la lupa ring inosenti tang kaluguran. Clueless la. Sabi ning kasiping ku, “Kapabaluan, i Jason pu atin yang sinulat tungkul king kayang inspirasyun a kena na Internet.”

“Ninu ing inspirasyun?” ngara namang menusisa.

“Patye mitutuk yang pasibayu ing boti kanaku, karin ku makibat,” ngaku. Kayi biglang, “Aku,” sabi mu. Whew. Sumap ika na ing migbuyangyang. E ku kapad ing manibat kaku, kasi ati yu king lele mu ing tau mu.

Kasaya na ning benging ita, ambuski pa e ku makaying migsalita. Mákarine mu pin; ambuski pa e ku melasing kabang miminum tamu, melasing ku yata katudtud. Kuentu mu, atin kung sasabian tungkul king Online Enlistment kabang matudtud ku. Tsk. Sana ing sinabi ku na mu ing solid a pánamdaman ku keka anti mong “unconscious confession.”

Ka-corny ku talaga!

Kabangun ku, ala na ka, kasi keilanganan mung muling maranun. Mig-text na ku mu keka at menyawad sorry kasi e da ka makaying átuan. Minasala ku keka nung bakit, at aintindian mu naman. Aku naman mine ku High School Reunion mi; katuki ne kasi ning outing tamu at king Fontana ya mu rin. Sabi ku keka king text, mabuburat na ku king reunion mi kasi e ku no man kabásang makayi ring keraklan karing kaklasi ku dati. Kayi sabi mu, “Sigi, aku ing maging GENIE mu at pasayan da ka! Hehe.”

Atin kung sabian... corny ka’ naman pala! Hahaha. Inya naman buri da ka.

Aka-chat ke YM ing kayabe kung linipat kening UP Diliman. Pámuysitan na ku tungkul ketang abalu na tungkul king pamalsinta ku keka. Kitang na, o’t e ra ka kanu paglolon? Lupa na ku man kanung ating pang-asa agyang pakananu. Pakibat ku, maturak-turak ya yata king sasabian na! Atin kang tau e.

“Tuod,” ngana. “Matagal na silang wala.”

Ay, maibug kung ma-stroke kanita. Kasi nung balu ku mung ali na pala ikayu... pota pa sa sinabi ku kekang daretsu ing atiu kilub ning pusu ku inyang benging mig-Fontana tamu. Inya naman ibat king aldong ita, pengaku ku king sarili kung misan a aldo, ipagtapat ku keka.

Misan a aldo pa pin, kasake ku king metung a bus pataglus Cubao Ibabaw, atuklasan kung makabuklat ya zipper ing bag ku. Mawawala ya ing cellphone ku, mápilan a class card, at ing dinalan kung pesus. Balu mu ing minuna kung pekiyisip?

Syet! Detang message mung sesesen ku, páka-store la ngan king inbox ning cellphone ku!

Wa, ring kekang text, makatuknang la mu king inbox ku. E naman keganagana, oneng dakal. Manga 20. Pengadi kung sana ing menako king kakung cellphone manakbag ya king overpass king Philcoa at malaparis yang taxi (ambuski pa lupang imposibli kasi bagya la mu kikimut ding saken keta uli ning traffic). Mímasmas na ku man kaibat. Uling ing tutu, maka-store la pa naman king pusu ku ring anggang mensahi mu.

Tanaydanang corny!

Kayi inyang misan pa pala, inyang minuli ku Pampanga ibat Diliman para manalbe Mr. and Ms. UP Pageant, kayakit mu kaku, pinulandit ka kaku. “Jasooooon!” at kinaul king kakung takde. Balu mu nung makananu kasagradu ing pitung segundung eksenang ita?! Na?! Ali mu, kasi inosenti ka, inya mas cute ka.

Asna kang ka-cute king mala-Avril Lavigne mung getup king benging ita. “As usual,” ngaku sa king isip ku, oneng e na ka man pulus Avril mágmalan, ali? Atin panaun a girly kang mágmalan, kumpletu pati makuyad a palda, buak Sailor Moon, at matas a medyas. Basta cute ka agyang Bananas In Pajamas ka pa gáyak.

Kayari ning pageant, minta ya ing barkada king Total bang tumambay. Ala mu, kuentu kuentu, bagyang inum, at aliwa pa. Asna kang ka-cute kanita: gatas ing pinili mung inuman. Sabi mu e mu na buri ing beer kasi pota bumungko ka pusun. At saka para na mu rin tumas ka agyang bagya, kasi ngamu pin king Tagalug, “Sadyang maliit lang talaga ako.”

“Lumakad tamu,” kumbira mung bigla.

Inta 'ali' wari ing ipakibat ku? Oyta, linakad katang ditak, bala mu sira buntuk a ala naman puntalan. Balu mu namang e ku masalitang tau at mayilig kung mányalikut pilubluban. Dapot balu mu? Bayu te likuan ing lamesa da ring kaluguran ta, ginulut ku pa mu at tiniman karing kabarkada ta. Balu mu na; kasi lumakad katang ikata mung adua e.

Corny.

Linabas ing panaun, sinikan nang sinikan ing kalampag ning pusu ku para keka. Masákit, kasi king kang Pampanga at yaku, king Diliman. Ing gewa ku na mu, gewa ku ing keganagana bang sálese ku kumpyansa at sumanting ku personalidad. Pemilit kung maging masikan lub para keka. Migtagumpe na ku man kasi agpang karing kakilala ku, sabi ra bala mu kanu ating menaliwa kanaku. Dinagdag ku kanu “dating” ngara. Dati kasi e ku bitasang bubulad o nanu. Bala mu antisocial kung mákabitki biye.

Pengaku ku, Kaleldo 2005, paglolon da na ka, kabalik ku ibat king pamagbisita mi king ibpa kung caregiver king Amerika.

Oneng o ba’t makanita?

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Indu, Ibpa, Makanini Kung Mebiasa Tungkul King Sex

Ka-21 ning Setyembri, 2017

Pakamalan kung Indu at Ibpa,

Gewa ke ing sulat a ini inyang 15 kung banua. Effective ya mu banuang iti (2017) ing sulat ku kasi marine kong sabian kekayu ring makatuki inyang baintau ku pa mu. Nung maranun yo mung abalu, inta e na ku kilung Papa king kuartu, at inta e ne bebang Ima ing bakal ku? Pota pa pin sa pelayasan yu ku king bale. Dapot ngeni, matua na ku’t talasawa; siguru naman OK nong ibuyangyang deni.

Mangamal kung pengari, e ko paybunsul king iyamanu ku. E ku naman kasalanan. E ku sasaryan; kabud na mu meganap. Siguru binalak na ngan ning Indung Tibuan. Pakisuri pa mu ing kekong prisyun at siknangan yu ing lub yu. Nung e ko pa minum bitamina, ita pa mu ing daptan yu. Pota kasi kumaskup ko salu at mangalagas ko buak.

Indu’t Ibpa, king lagyu ning katutuan, kakung sasabian—Grade 3 ku inyang minuna kung memulagat king sex.

Saguli! Mangisnawa ko pa mu. E mangabaldugan itang mekipangatawan ku inyang Grade 3. Ikayu naman, kang Misis ku minunang mekasubuk. Ing buri kung sabian, mikamale ku (at meging mayusisang bagya) tungkul king sex inyang Grade 3 ku.

Ing pigmulan nini inyang mamialung ku king mula anti mong anak a malati. Sinilip ku king awang ning kuartu nang Darang Irma. Balu yu ing abatiawan ku? Makalukluk ya i Bapang Gary king kama kabang mipanuma lang manyaman detang lalaki at babai... king TV. King kaladua ning pamanusisa, mekialbe na ku mung palihim kayagnan nang Bapa. E na balung e ya magdilidili king kayang pamanalbe.

Karas Grade 4, dinakal ku pa kabaluan ibat karing kaklasi ku, pelalu na kari Reynielle at Steven. Deta, ila pin ding pekamabalu kung kaklasi tungkul king sex king elementarya. Nanunanung salita ing pepakilala da e mu kaku nune pati karing kaklasi ku, anti mo kayi... e ku na mu sasabian. Balu yu na. Sex terms. Detang yausan dang colloquial. E retang pang-syensya.

Karela meging masala kanakung ing male reproductive organ luluban ne ing female reproductive organ potang mipanginyud la. E ku naman isip-isipan na atin palang malilyaring makanita! Bala ku sa kabud mu kupal ing lulub kalual king baril ning lalaki. Makanita pa man, e pa rin kumpletu ing kabiasnan ku tungkul king sex. Salamat king Ginu, atin pang High School.

Masalese ko pa panamdaman, kanakung pengari? E ye sa pikakarine ing kekong malugud a anak at e yu sa pagsisian ing pamagparagul yu kanaku. E ko migaganaka. Responsabli kung baintau kanita; e linub king isip ku ing sumubuk. “With Distinction” ku pa mu ibat Grade 5 anggang Grade 6, atatandanan yu? Mangabaldugan mung ing pamagaral pa mu rin ing kanakung bubulusan oras. Ding berding bage, malati la mung dake ning kanakung biye kanita. At saka angga ku mung lawe kanita; e ku pignasan ing makatalan.

Paynawa ta pa mung bagya. Agyu yu pa? OK. Dintang ing mumunang banua ning high school.

E ku kasalanan, pengari, ing mikamestru ku king Philippine History a alang marine magsambitlang bagebage tungkul king sex at pornography. Lakuas na kung mitas kabaluan. Kaya ku mu abalung malilyari pala ing yausan dang anal sex. “Nakahiligan na nilang mag-alkansya,” ngana pa.

E ke mu rin akalinguan itang mestra ku king Computer. Ing pamagmasala na, ambuski mangabiran king istilung “formal sex education,” mekadagdag pang lakuas king balu ku tungkul king yatu ring makatua. Nung ali kaya, e ku abalu kabang maranun ing akmulan da pala ring aliwang babai! Mepakilala ya mu rin kaku ing salitang “oral sex,” dapot balu ku ne ing konseptu kanita pa.

Oyni ing e ku maibug kalinguan. Kilala ye pa i Warren? Minta ke kanita ring kaklasi ku (samut lalaki at babai) ketang bale na bang magsaneng Ibong Adarna. Inyang atuklas nang Warren ala lu ring pengari na karela, kinumpul ke ketang silid na at menalbe keng Jungle Heat. Wa, aku ing pekamasigi king TV, oneng malabug ku kasi mata kanita e. Aparti kanita, ala na kung aliwang sangkan nung bakit aku ing pekamasigi. Kasalanan yu—atnang kalambat bayu yu ku seling salamin pangmata.

Masala ku pang atatandanan. Keganaganang mata makatalikala keng makapalage nung nu magaganap itang pamipangatawan lele ning swimming pool. Atin kekami titiman la; ring aliwa “yuck” ngada; ding aliwa naman bagya da mu kapad; ding aliwa naman agyang kulaitan mo balugbug e da ka siguru pansinan. Oyni ing ipagmaragul yu king anak yu: menalbe ku mu pauli ning manalbe la ngan kasi. Ala nang aliwa pang sangkan, o pengari kung saslag king madalumdum a labuad. Ambuski pa istudyanti kung atin kakatasan gradu, itang maging-Valedictorian mi high school kayabe miya mu rin.

Kayi agya’pang samut keng lalaki at babai, alang milyaring mala, pangaku. Alang sampagang biglang midugpan buanbuan; alang maputing papil a biglang mitalamsikan tinta; alang burak a biglang mesarul. At e ku mu rin meging inspiradung makipag-premarital sex. Masanting ing balu ku ing ustu, e wari? Paniwala ku kasi kanita, ing sex, dapat daptan ke king ustung panaun at karinan abe ing ustung tau. Ikua yu?

Ay Ginu ku, keluatan, minyampukaki ku pa lalu balu. Kabang kakabus ing panaun, nanunanu na ing mekalub king kamalayan ku—mekapitung siam (69), sarul (wheelbarrow), titlu (threesome), tiapat (foursome), pamagbulasisi ning babai, “pangasuku ning nyaman” (orgasm), at aliwa pa.

Ing tuknangan nang Warren pasibayu yang meging pipanalben pelikula inyang ing grupu mi gagawa lang backdrop para king Florante at Laura inyang Kaduang Banua. Ing pekabatuin nitang pelikula i Britney Spears—ali, kawangis ne mu.

Intindian yu, Ima at Tatang, na e ku panintunan ing makanini. Ati lu mu talaga king kakung paligid. E ku agresibu. Atin ko mu rin bagyang kasalanan; misan kasi, mipasubung kung manalbe Sutla uling ikit ke mu kabud king lansena yu.

Inyang kayi, bayu ku linub College, atumaran keng alben ing Viva Hot Babes king pirated VCD, ali uling seliwan ke, nune uling atin kung kaklasing babaing sinali para alben king outing ning barkada mi (angga ngeni e ku balu o’t keibugnan neng alben ita). E ku pa kelinguan nung makananu milang pigtisti ring salimpapong susu nang Maui Taylor uling lupa lang bolang pang-bowling a kule balat tau. Kayi ring susu nang Katya Santos naman, makalolo la. Ula mi pin, dalaga yang inda. Aganaka mila pin ding susu nang Regine Velasquez e.

Samanta atin ke mu rin kaklasing ating pelikulang Sex Drive king pirated VCD. Pepandam ne kaku (a selikut ku kilub ning kakung College application form envelope king lagyu ning seguridad). Makanita pa man e ku ne ilben uling putut la karetang mapaling eksena. E na ku man bisang manyayang oras.

Atin mu rin forum king Internet, “Sex and Intimacy” ya lagyu. Dakal ku rin akulkul a kabiasnan keta. Ing kabaluan keta bala mu bunga la mung pun a malaguang agtalan. Kayi ala pang Dios a tatanud at kamamalung sisitsit.

King panlawe ku dapat yu kung ipagmaragul kasi e ku mebaluktut isip karetang sablang abalu ku. Ala kung diptanan harrassment at e ku mikaibug a gawan ita. Ing pamagaral ku at ding pangarap ku pa mu rin ding kanakung inuna, ali?

Nung lub yu mu kanita, ayus mu kaku ing mipamiru tamung adult jokes ampong mipangamanu tamung masalese tungkul king sex. Kasi balu ku na; e ku naman buri ing pamalatkayung kunyari mo inosenti ku. Responsabli na ku man. Ing isip ku pa mu rin ing manibala karing kakung pangimut. Ima, Tatang, kasalese yu kung peparagul! O’t naman mo luban ku ing kalokuan?

Atin pa pin bengi kanita na e ku mipatudtud kayi lipat-lipat kung channel king TV. Kayi atin kung asusuliapan a pangmatuang palage wangis da ring king Wowow (atuklas ko reta inyang Grade 4 ku pa). E ku man maniglo. Mas buri ko pa pin detang seryosung pelikula, National Geographic, cartoon, drama, ampong MTV. King maranun kung pangabilad karing yausan da mong pangmatua, sinawa na ku mu rin. Normal na la mung anting palage king Cartoon Network. Me-demystify na la inya e ku no paniglon. Ali?

Oneng dapat kung aminan, mekabasa na kung pangmatuang magasin—(malating dake ring) Cosmopolitan, FHM, at aliwa pa. Dapot nanu ing sangkan? Ali uling buri kong basan, nune uling ati lu. Simpli. Itang paboritu ming kapean king Balibago reta ring parati nang makalele a magasin, inya ala kung pagpilian kanita. Nung mipaytagun ala lu keta, e na ku man manggatal king pamanintun anti kareta. Bakit? Kasi pin, ali kami adik karing makanitang bage.

Bali ngeni, 30 na kung banua, atin nang anak, e na ku mipakirut nung datang ing aldong ing anak kung lalaki mamin ya mu naman anti nining kinudta ku (maliban na mu nung bigla nang sinabi kakung mekabuktut yang babai, inta e ke itabi). E no magsilbi kaku ring inosenting lawe kasi delanan ku na ita e. Nung e ya man mamin, balu ku pa mu rin na manikua’t manikua yang kabaluan ibat kilual. E ke pilitan mamin. Nung e na buring ibuklat kaku, alang problema. Ita mu rin kasi ing gewa ku.

Abalu ning balang anak ing tungkul king sex agyang pang pisasalikut ding pengari. Lakuas nang mabilis ing pamaglub ning kabaluan karing mayusisa. Malagu ya ing kalma yu kasi e na ku man makaying masisilo karing bage tungkul king sex. Ing busal ning anggang amanu ku: ing kapaligiran ing natural a magpakilala karing anak king sex king metung a paralan a e malino kekatamu, kasi e ta’ no man akakit ding anak tamu 24/7. Datang ne mu kabud anting manako patye bengi para daklutanan purung kamalayan ing penganak.

Ing maralas ku pin sabian king sarili ku, “I am not sexually and pornographically hyperactive; I’m just not innocent.”

Yari na ing pamangumpisal ku. Salamat, kakung pengari, king ali kayu mebunsul karing penyabi ku. Ikayu ring pekamasaleseng pengari king meto yatu. E da na ko kutnan nung makanini ko mu rin inyang iko ing high school, king lagyu ning respetu king pengari at kapat a utus ning Banal a Miglalang.

Lulugud alang patad quecayu mangga quing queang pangamate,
Ing Quecong Anak

Susug: Balu kung atin yang picture message a lubas i Papa king 3210 na inyang katlu kung banua king high school.

Pangabait Nang Pungul Inosenti

Birth of Pungul Inosenti (Baby the Innocent). A poem on the birth of identity, on self-determination, on making a path rather than taking the usual ones.

Sumangid atin metung a yatu
Ding salita ra para king tau
Nung bilangan mu la atlu la mu

Kabait nang Pungul Inosenti
Abalu no ring amanung deti
Malutu, Dilo, ampong Maputi

Uli nita atlu ya' pigpilian
Nung sanu ing buring maging dalan
Dapot e buring pamaliguanan

Kayi sibukan meging Malutu
Wangis da ring mangatua king baryu
Oneng e pa rin kuntentu pusu

Kayi sibukan nang meging Dilo
Kalupa ring sasamba king aldo
Dapot biye e pa meging malino

Kayi sibukan meging Maputi
Anti retang aliwang kakasi
'Neng panamdaman pa rin ing lili

'Nya pisamut na no mu ring atlu
At ing linual aliwa yang anyu
Para keta ala pang amanu

Kemuanan de reng sablang Malutu
Inyang pekiabayan no rugu
Lawe da kaya ali ya tau

Parang kalma'ing disan karing Dilo
Linapit ya saka ya mebulyo
Inya i Pungul mengapalako

Karing Maputi e ne mebigla
"E ka tau," ngara anting sadya
At saka ya rugu mengapalua

Linapit ya'ing metung a kaladua
Saka ne kitnan o't gagaga ya
Sinabi nang Pungul ing istorya

"Ali ku pu balu nung nanu ku
Inya yausan da kung ali tau
Nanu'ng maging lugal ku king yatu"

Pakibat ning kaladuang kasabi
"E ka Malutu, Dilo, Maputi
Oy, metung kang Pungul Inosenti"